egads it has been a while. i always start off with the best of intetions...on any project. and then something else captures my attention, or i want to do something else, like sleep. is it boredom? not usually. just...the human nature thing. complacency.

it happens to the best of us. it's odd, though that we seek a routine, familiar niches carved out of everyday activities and places and travels. we look for patterns to soothe us, to make us feel secure in their sameness. so, somewhere along that spectrum, things become "old hat" or we get bored with them. and then at least in my case, we look for something that engages us more than the last thingy did.

i love this though, and i'm going to try and not let it fall by the wayside. maybe with the cool weather chasing me back inside, that will help. or i'll get a raging case of cabin fever. not sure which

i had an interesting dream. i don't often remember much of my dreams until days later. or weeks. i do like to try and figure out what they mean. it's a hobby. or a pursuit. but i've just read a few books on the subject. so now, on occasion, friends call me with their dreams. it really is fascinating.

i dreamt i was going to college. it wasn't really like when i was in college which was (EGAD) 18 years ago. but i was moving into a dorm-like place and there were lots of friendly young people around, very welcoming. i was excited to be starting a new venture and looking forward to expanding my education (which really is something i would like to do)

i don't remember a lot of the details now, but the overall feeling was good. and considering i usually find new adventures a bit daunting and sometimes downright scary, i'd say it's a sign of progress. if not a new venture on the horizon. could be almost anything, really. kind of makes me want to take my binoculars and watch the horizon.

i don't have a garden. i wish i did. what i do have is some potted plants out on my balcony.

this summer has been pretty awful for those plants so far. the trees out back of my apartment building are encroaching ever closer so the squirrels can jump onto the balcony above. the bugs jump onto my plants and eat the leaves. it rains. then it's hot.

but tonight, i went out there and noticed some new buds. some new flowers trying to open, and some new growth.

i like that. my little plants reminding me to keep at it, to keep trying, not to give up.

my mother always had flowers out front and stalks of corn by the side of the house, and tomatoes out back. i can remember house plants and lots of flowers. she always had hope things would grow. bear fruit. wonder if she saw the symbolism. she had 3 children and then died at 33. i like to think now she sees that her having us was her hope for the future. her putting forth buds not knowing if and/or when they would bloom.

cleaning the house is one of the few things in life that results in instant gratification. one can see the results of their hard work immediately. the problem is, on a hot day, i have to take lots of breaks. between that and the bathroom cleaners, i get light-headed.

so i'm back at my computer, looking at my newly discovered website. it seems i get all interested in one, save it to my favorites, spend a lot of time browsing it (depending on how long it holds my attention) and then merely cast it aside at the discovery of a new one. meanwhile my favorites list becomes bogged down with stuff i rarely look at anymore. maybe i should turn my cleaning jag to the computer, and discard the unvisited sites. hmm..*ponders cleaning virtual house*

now if i can only figure out how to put comment links on here, i'll be all set!

i like to shop. note** that does not mean i buy lots of things. in fact, there are really very few things i need. NEED. but i can't help browsing, looking through catalogs, wandering through stores. i love to look.

so today as i was browsing a rack of half-priced womens sleepwear, it dawned on me, why was i looking? i don't even wear sleepwear to sleep. i wear it around the house in which case then should i be calling it loungewear? or am i thinking of the glamourous women in the 30's and 40's films when the word penior and negligee had totally different meanings? the women who wore the floor length, long sleeved gowns and the maribou slippers? could be. oooh...and always with the cigarette holder....

now i don't have any loungewear that looks like that. mostly flannel and cotton pajama bottom type things and t-shirts. but it's comfy. and i can't help but look, i mean it was half price! but i didn't buy any.