Here comes the "lake effect snow"!!!

I suppose I should be grateful that it didn't start sooner nor hamper my holiday travel plans last week.

And if I don't like the snow, I should just get the heck out of dodge, right?

I know, I know...

Having one's beau begin a conversation with "Don't panic, but I have something to tell you..."
is NOT a pleasant feeling.


*sigh*

Some general observations.

Family holidays can be really competitive. People are already trying to out-do one another with perspective gifts.

My niece is full of baby magic. She has the power to transform moods and attitudes with a smile.

Going to the zoo is fun even when you can't feed the goats.

Sometimes being too big to climb on the toys at playland is as frustrating as being too small to.

Christmas shopping is overrated. So are most gifts.

I can't stay up as late nor drink as much as I used to.

Laughter is indeed the best medicine. That or playing on a playground with a nearly two year old girl who likes to go down the slide head first.

My grandfather is in a nursing home. The building used to be a school. I was really happy to be able to visit him without a lot of other relatives telling me when to come and go and what to bring. My sister and I brought him restaurant take out BBQ and some beer. I'll admit I felt like I was "breaking the rules" bringing that six pack in there. I carried it on my right side, trying to shield it from the desk with my body. What were they going to do, kick me out?

I know that is the best place for him, but it broke my heart to leave him there. I wanted to take him home, but he can't stand nor walk without help. I can't care for him. He lit up when he saw us, my sister and I. He tried to stay awake and "talk all night" like he said he wanted to.

He's winding down, like a watch. It's bittersweet. He has been a very strong, opinionated person. A person I was always afraid I would disappoint. A person who intimidated me. He's still stubborn and opinionated. But he's frail and vulnerable, too.

It's reminding me that we will all be there one day. And he knows he's no longer a "big shot". And that pisses him off.

*sigh*

I know some of those people there don't get visitors, though. And he was so proud we were there he wanted to eat in the common area so everyone could see us. That makes me feel good, to know that he loves me, even if he didn't say it very often.

Voting is such a multi-faceted experience. I'm still constantly amazed at how many people standing in line with me don't know where they are supposed to vote, or how they are supposed to vote or what they are really voting for.

I'm pleased they show up and everything, but it's hard for me to understand them not putting a touch of personal responsibility behind what they are doing. They could pick up a newspaper, watch any number of televised events, pick up a voters guide or even look at the internet (which I realize not everyone has access to).

Maybe it's my detail oriented side that makes sure my voter registration card is up to date, and I know how to get where I need to be, and I park in the parking spots, (not the circle drive in front of that school, idiot!!) I print a sample ballot and read the proposals. Maybe I'm just uncommon.

The line was super long when I left though, much longer than when I got there, and that's nice to see.

I hate that once a month my emotions get out of control.
I hate that the cashier at the grocery store called the women in front of me with their heads, faces, arms and legs covered "foreigners" and was irritated by them.
I hate that I can't separate certain actors with details I know about them.
I hate that I'll have to watch every single thing I eat for the rest of my life.
I hate that I eat for comfort.
I hate that complete strangers feel compelled to share with me how great and strong their faith in God is. I think that's intensely personal, and it's like them talking about their sex life or their mental health status.
I hate that as an adult, I still sometimes feel like a child who is left out or overlooked, and people don't see that they are doing it.
I hate that things that really matter, often don't, and things that don't often do.
I hate that I often feel like there isn't enough time to do the things I really want to do, when I'm stuck doing what I have to do.
I hate that I feel like I don't measure up. To what, I'm not sure.
I hate that sometimes, things are over-hyped, and by the time I see/hear/read them, I just don't see what the big deal was.

I am glad, though, that I have a place to put these things down, and get them out. Maybe that will help.