Recently, I went away on vacation. I didn't do anything spectacular, but I had a nice time. I relaxed. I ate, I slept, I read. I watched TV, went places with my beau. It was awesome. We've traveled together before, he's come here and we've gone on day trips, but this was nice just to be. To be together.

As I boarded the bus to take me away from him to the airport, it felt like all that heat that builds up on the picnic table all day, once the sun goes down, dissipating from the painted wood beneath me.

I love him and I miss being with him. I don't like this long distance thing we do. But we have to right now.

And so, with the end of daylight savings, I go back to work, and come home in the dark.

Sometimes, I love living alone. Other times, it freaks me out. I'm pretty sure what just happened was something like an acid reflux episode but while it was happening, I felt like I was going to die. Home. Alone.

It's like that scene in "Frankie and Johnny" when Michelle Pfeiffer nearly chokes on a spoonful of peanut butter. She's all alone, feels that panic, relief, and then still alone, sadness.

I sure hope this isn't something that sticks around. I hope this is it, like the one migraine I had, and then it goes on it's merry way.

All I can say without going into too much detail, is that I hate being or feeling sick. That was horrible, and it felt like I was suffocating. It scared me! But now, I'm feeling much more calm. I'm just not sure if I'll be able to eat any more of that great batch of stuff I made earlier today.

Oh stop your whining. At least I'm queen of the remote control, right?

How do I know when it's time to end things? How do I know that this won't give me any more than it already has? Do I stay until the bitter end?

It's going to be hot today. I was lazy yesterday. I don't want to have to go out, but I will. And then I'll come right back home.

I know going to the gym is good for me. I feel better when I've done my workout. But I'm still waiting for the part where I like working out.

I only had a small bit of syrup on my waffles. And now I feel all sticky. What is with that?