I am trying to calculate the ratio of time spent indisposed or away from my apartment, and the ratio to time spent IN the apartment before I decide I have to vacuum/pick stuff up/clean.

My tolerance for clutter is higher than it used to be. Perhaps I pick my battles. Perhaps I'm getting old and lazy. A clean bathroom and kitchen are essential, as is laundry. But somehow the rest of it just sits there. Sometimes it multiplies.

I used to clean my dorm room to avoid doing homework. Now I avoid cleaning by spending time online or doing some other random activity, like knitting, crochet, watching TV or reading. I find it interesting, not really disturbing, okay, somewhat disturbing at this apparent shift in tidiness.

The best thing to do, I suspect, is to stop thinking about/analyzing it and just go deal with it.

I just can't help but think about it though. That's what I do.

I don't like being sick. I don't really get sick very often, but I discovered I had a UTI on Friday after a trip to the doctor's office. Shortly before that discovery the nurse scared the life out of me by asking if it was possible that I was pregnant. Honestly, that thought had never crossed my mind. She left me in the exam room then, just me and my thoughts. Me and my racing crazy thoughts. It was the longest 15 minutes of my life!

I haven't taken antibiotics in a very long time. I'm taking something that cannot be taken if a woman is pregnant, so I know the results of that test. This medicine makes me feel funny. It makes my skin itch all over. It's annoying. I know it's working, but I have to take it for 4 more days. Maybe I'm just a lightweight with regards to medicine like this.

I read too many websites with side effects and sometimes I freak myself out. Is it an ache or a throb? Is it chest pain or tightness? I think being by myself makes these thoughts worse, because sometimes I have trouble distracting myself.

I haven't been doing well at just lying on the couch watching TV, either. I get up, putter in the kitchen, move some things, check my e-mail, open or close the window, and sit back down. I do any combination of this stuff a lot.

Here's to modern medicine and NOT reading too many prescription medication websites.