60 years ago yesterday, my grandmother was driven to the hospital by her mother, so she could give birth to my mom. my grandfather was in the South Pacific, with the Navy, flying recon during WWII. he didn't even see the little girl for over a year.

it's amazing how much we can weather.

mom died 33 years later.

i miss her, so i called Grandma. told her i was thinking of her.

and she told me mom would be proud of me, getting healthy, losing weight, exercising, choosing life and joy, embracing all that i am and have.

i love you, mom. miss you, but also know that wherever you are, you are watching over me and guiding me as i find my way back. to the woman i am meant to be.

sometimes it seems like things just "happen TO us". like Yahoo decided that my password is invalid and i can't see my email or use my messenger. it sucks, but what can i do?


then sometimes no matter how hard we try to work well, or fast, things are just too busy for us to keep up. there are only so many hours in a day.

i used to get all stressed out at work. now, i simply do my best, and then go home. i can't possibly do more. and now things have slowed a bit, so we may get caught up. the trick is to not make more work for ourselves by cutting corners. and have a good attitude and sense of humor.

the only thing we can control, after all, is our reactions to what life throws at us.

oooh, and i'm up to 13.5 minutes on the ellipitcal...i ROCK!!!!!!!!

i think i'm feeling a bit better. my energy and appetite is back. and i'm not freezing and sweating at the same time!

now i just have to figure out if i have enough oomph to drive for an hour and have dinner with my family tomorrow.

oooof...

dang. i'm sick. i HATE being sick. it is such a waste of time. and i'm the kind of sick where i can't sleep well. stuffed up in the head. so i keep waking up. it's not even worth calling in to work. i'd just ramble around here doing dishes or laundry or some stupid thing.


*grumbles back to the couch with her tissues and down blankie*

and the worst part is, since i can't breathe well, i didn't go do my work out. it's the first one i've missed and i feel terrible.