Yesterday I voted in the primary election. It wasn't a huge monster deal. At 7:15 pm when the polls were only open for another 45 minutes, I was voter #100.

That's a shame. Also a shame was the young woman trying to vote and looking puzzled at the ballot because some of the names she'd been told of weren't on it. All the education we are doing just isn't enough. But, sometimes people don't take responsibility for their own information gathering.

I voted because I could. All around the world there are people who can't.

dammit.

I miss buying school supplies. They are having a donation program here at work though. But *I* want new pens too!


I wish I knew why I keep watching Extreme Makeover Home Edition. It only makes me cry. It's good they do what they do, but is it just contrived to make me feel better by watching it though I didn't do anything? A big network and big department store did. Maybe it makes THEM feel better by having the chance to put something that isn't totally crap on TV. But it seems contrived really by having these awfully sad stories of families they choose.

I don't like watching movies I know are supposed to make me feel sad, either, so why on earth do I keep going back for more?

*sigh*

I wonder if everyone has days when they just want to give up. I am sure they do, but most people don't likely dwell on it or think about it too much.

I see trash on the ground around my apartment that I usually pick up. People are pigs. "Hey, that's my front yard!" , I think to myself. Today, feeling defeated I just thought, they'll do it again tomorrow anyway...

I just feel tired, kind of "beaten" by things just now. I'm not sure why, though things haven't been particularly difficult, although sleep eludes me.

I don't feel like exercising, like cooking nor cleaning the house, all the things that are normally "me".

Maybe I just need some sleep. I surely hope that's all it is.

Does food equal love because that's how it worked when I was young?

Eating certain things I enjoy is a pleasure. Sunday it was biscuits. Today it was kibbee and tabooli. It's not just "comfort foods" nor foods that are just bad for me. Though Dove dark chocolate is always love.

I am part Italian, Polish, German and English, while being Lebanese via osmosis. Almost any ethnicity shows love with food. Heck, we celebrate with it, mourn with it, cure with it, console with it, rejoice with it. It is a constant companion.

Right now I'm so full I might not have any dinner. But I likely will anyway. I wish I could better understand WHY I eat when I'm not hungry. What is that urge? It's not like I ever was starving and am trying to make up for that feeling.

The older I get, the harder it is to get those extra pounds to come off, though. Exercise is not as effective as it was when I started this ride.

I'm working on it. But not only do I love to eat, I love the feelings I have when I eat good food (meaning things I like prepared well), food that I love.

Yes, it's "fry an egg on the sidewalk" hot. I saw them do it on the news this morning.

I'm grateful for air conditioning at home and a job where I can work inside, sitting down, sipping coffee and be a bit chilly in my sleeveless shirt.

*counts her blessings*