i am frustrated by human nature's desire to fill the quiet dark winter with noise, light and high levels of irritation.

i honestly feel a spiritual need to be quiet, solemn, meditative, ...to get "very small" and feel my place in the universe. but i think we as humans are so scared of being alone in that cold dark night, we fill the world with light and sound, just to hear it bang. so we don't "feel" so alone. even me, i turn on the TV when i'm home alone, and don't as much watch it as keep it on so it seems like someone else is with me. it keeps me company.

it's ironic that the time of year we all could use a little quiet, seems extra-full of noise and light.

can i even get quiet anymore in the city? i think i can. there are pockets of quiet about. true darkness may not be so easy to come by, but that scares me the most. when it's "Blair Witch" dark. eeeeeeep.

i look forward to the possibility next year of being able to celebrate a quiet holiday with my Honey. where He lives, it's not so busy.

then again, it may drive me mad!