wowweeee....i don't know if i can survive many more of those visits from my Sweetie. We have to get our time in together when we can, and usually that means he comes here, and we "shack up" for a couple of weeks. it is fun and enjoyable, but now i feel we're past the hearts and flowers stage and on to the getting to know the person within stage. putting up with things that make me crazy and learning to communicate when i am crazy or mad or upset. which is not easy for me. but i'm doing it, which makes me feel good.

it is frustrating to go back to life "before". it seems i feel more alone than when i was alone. it's like having tasted chocolate, and knowing what you're missing. and it's not about THAT, but the being together, the sharing and communicating, laughing and sharing life together.


eeegad...i'm sappy and stuff....

now on to the frustrating prospect of the upcoming holidays. why is it than in trying to do the "right thing" i get so tired of swimmig upstream? making sure things are where they should be and include all those needed. it shouldn't be so difficult. but it is. i'm hoping there's some reward in all of this i don't yet see. there's got to be. orchestrating dinner for 10 doesn't SEEM extremely complicated, but i guess it depends on which 10 we are talking about.

and let's not even talk about the NEXT holiday....yet.....

*runs and hides under her covers*